If a Good Man is Hard to Find…
Did you know that the phrase “a good man is hard to find” is biblical?
The writer of Proverbs 20:6-7 says, “Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!” Finding a faithful man may not be super common but wherever he is found, he is a blessing! He’s a blessing to his church, his community, and (maybe especially) on the next generation.
Even secular research shows that a good man (or the absence of one) has a huge impact in areas like drug/alcohol abuse, education, poverty, emotional health, and crime. Anecdotally, look at the local Christian nonprofits that our church is involved in right now. Many of them exist in one way or another because of the lack of good men. We mentor fatherless children in our community (43% of American children don’t live with their dads), we help women in crisis pregnancies (the number one reported reason for abortion is the lack of a supportive partner), we minister to men coming out of prison and their families (92% of men in prison are fathers. Kids without dads at home are 3-20 times more likely to end up incarcerated), and we help victims who have been trafficked by the men of our community. How many of our charitable organizations would be able to shut down if our community was loaded with “faithful” men who were “righteous” and walking in “integrity”? Truly, blessed are the children of a good man.
So, if good men are hard to find, what are we going to do about it? Let’s take a quick look at some verses from 1 Thessalonians and the ABC’s of addressing the lack of good men.
Appreciate a Real One
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
Sadly, because it can seem rare to find a good, godly man (even in the church) our society finds that is easier to bash men than to build them. I’ve seen television shows bashing men. I’ve seen comedians bashing men. I’ve seen countless pastors bashing men. I’m not interested in bashing men, but I’d love to have a talk about building them up. Good men may be hard to find, but I know a bunch of them. I know many good, godly men. Men who are contented singles following Jesus. Men that are faithful husbands that love their wives. Men that are committed dads who lead their families in following Jesus.
If good men are hard to find, then when you find one, encourage him! I wish this was always the start and finish of any talk on biblical manhood. Wherever you find a godly man, encourage him! Instead of bashing what’s terrible about men, consider the good men and how your words can encourage them just like Paul calls us to in 1 Thessalonians 5:11.
Build a New One
1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
“For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”
If a good man is hard to find then let’s raise some! Every time my wife was pregnant I prayed that God would grant us a son. He did. Three times. It’s not that I don’t want a daughter. It’s not that I don’t want women in my house. I know that a good man can be hard to find, so I want the chance to raise some. One of the best ways we can address the lack of godly men in our world is by raising our sons to be godly fathers and husbands.
Look at the way that Paul describes fatherhood. Charging our children “to walk in a manner worthy of God.” The lack of good men in our communities is due to a lack of discipled and disciplined men. Part of the solution to that is discipling the next generation. Let’s be those who are not only commending good men, we are building new ones! Exhort your sons. Paint your sons the picture of what it looks like to be a man just like Jesus and let’s exhort them into it.
Correct a Potential One
1 Thessalonians 5:14
“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”
If a good man is hard to find then when you find a man who is not a good one, let’s correct him! Part of discipleship will involve courageously correcting men where they have wandered from what God called them to. Proverbs 9:8 says that if the man you rebuke is wise, he will love you for it.
Paul says that where we find men who are not doing what they should be doing we should admonish them. That means to counsel them and call them to their duty. Of course, if they are weak in some areas, they may not need rebuke. As Paul says, if they are weak, they need help. In which case, HELP THEM! And be patient with them. There is a way to correct, counsel, and help without shaming, bashing, and giving up. This is the work that the body of Christ should be busy with. Admonishing in love. Helping the weak. Extending grace and patience to struggling men. Making good men where there weren’t any before through the transforming power of the gospel.